Finding peace after the loss of a family member

V— requests a Life Reading, seeking guidance and insights to many questions about personal wellness, marriage, spirituality, and life’s purpose:

birdMy son passed away last year. I’ve had some deep insights into my spirituality and some real indicators to our connectedness to the other side of the veil—an awakening, perhaps.

Why am I so unbelievably exhausted and unmotivated? The exhaustion seems to be getting much worse. Medical tests show that everything is normal. How do I fix this?

I have since had shamanism presented to me numerous times, although I have resisted. I am having trouble finding help on this new path. I feel like I am adrift.

Is this the path meant for me? Will I find a mentor?

And why can’t I seem to find my spirit guides? … Or, have I found them, and I just don’t know it?

I see so many images when I meditate, but I can’t seem to make sense of them all. Even when I’m not meditating; for example, just closing my eyes during emotional moments, I still see images. (I swear, I’m not crazy!)

What am I supposed to do with my life? How do I make my time here on earth meaningful? What’s my purpose, and how do I find the energy to pursue it?

How do I find joy in life again? Everything that’s going on in the world seems too overwhelming. So many bad things are happening…. I sometimes feel nauseous hearing about it on TV or social media, to the point where I’ve stopped watching the news…. I’m seriously considering shutting down my Facebook account. It’s really sickening and heartbreaking—all this hate in the world.

My husband is…. a difficult person. Although, I’m sure I’m difficult too. Am I being selfish when I think about leaving him, or should I just suck it up and try harder? Is this relationship my life lesson in patience and compassion? Is it more honorable to stay together?

In the past, I was intuitive and good at seeing the big picture, but now, I can’t see the forest for all the trees. I used to be really confident and grounded when I was younger, but now, I just feel so off kilter.

What is happening to me?

Life Reading by Parama

wolfYour son’s death has left a void in your external world, but you still feel him on the inner plane. Connections can never be lost.

“Daddy, Mommy,” your son says, “I know you miss me, but I had to leave. It was my time to go. Some people get a whole lifetime—I only got twelve years. I learned what I needed to learn, and you taught me well. I know you wanted to save me, but it was my time to go.

“Please let me go. I want to move on, too. But I can’t, because you are holding on so tight to your guilt – wishing you could have saved me.

“Let me fly! I want to fly. When you look up and see a bird with its wings outstretched, hovering above you, you’ll know it’s a sign from my spirit, having united with the Almighty One God.

“Remember me, but let me go—let me fly—let me be free and live forever in your hearts. Mommy, Daddy—one day we will reunite. I know, because the angels tell me so. And we will be happy together, forever with God.

“Take down my bedroom, my play toys, the favorite truck of mine that always makes you cry, and please, for my sake, give it away to a charity so that some other child can play the way I once did. This will please me, bring me joy, and help set our spirits free.

“Please… I want to see you happy again. I want to see you play together the way you used to play with me.

“You can’t make me come back, but you can be happy now. You have each other, and that’s a gift from God. I’ll never forget you, … ever, ever.”

The spirit of the wolf walks with you and protects you. The wolf is a fierce guardian of what you hold dear. Ask for protection and guidance from God, and then close your eyes, listen, and pay attention. A wolf—a guardian spirit gifted to you from God—is a fearless, loyal, dedicated provider and protector for you, especially as you consider bringing another child into your family. You will know when you are ready.

An unhealthy substance addiction has sapped you of energy and consumed your creativity. Seek support to free yourself from these chains. Ask God to help you…. Cry out if you must.

Have you let yourself cry over the loss of your son?

Find a loving, supportive friend from your local community whom you trust. You’ve known this person a long time, and she has great wisdom and a deep understanding of who you are. Ask her to listen to you talk about your substance addiction. Receive her unconditional love and support. Rely on her whenever you feel tempted to indulge.

Drowning out the pain cannot make it go away. Denial can only amplify your pain, until it consumes you—all of you. Will you let this happen? You don’t want to feel your pain, so you have found a way to justify your addiction, as if you were entitled to indulge in self-destructive behaviors.

This is extremely taxing to your nervous system, throws your hormones off balance, and exhausts you.

The time has come to fervently—Start now—seek healthy outlets to vent your emotions, which you’ve managed with great effort to stuff deep inside of yourself.

Using your chosen art medium, capture the images you see in meditation or when your eyes are closed. Give the images your own expression: Give them a voice, a shape, and free them from being trapped inside of you.

A new dance can only begin when you’re willing—and ready—to let go of whatever’s holding you back, get up, and embrace your dance partner.

people-dancing-silhouette-icon-25When you first met your partner, you used to dance, play, and explore together. You’ve stopped taking the time to enjoy being together.

Ask God to renew and rebuild your life. Regenerate yourself and your relationship through God’s love and your love for each other. You can do this. What seems to be “difficult” about your relationship will transform as you express yourself more and more.

Unburden yourself from guilt.

Rely on trustworthy friends to help you. Don’t expect your partner to fulfill your needs for support. It’s too much right now. If you build a solid support network for yourself outside of your primary partnership, then over time, you will find that your marriage improves, your perceptions change, and you will be able to enjoy life together, as you once did.

Be patient in your relationship, and do your fair share. You’ve both been struggling, so do not add more burden by expecting the other person to save you from your pain. You must do this work for yourself, in your own heart, with the help of God and your trusted support network.

Have you and your partner considered building a new house or an addition to your house? This could be helpful for you to do together: a collaborative project, creating something new together.

dust-devil-vs-tall-bike-burning-man-2010Consider a vacation getaway with your partner soon. This will help you find new perspectives, as well as giving you needed time alone together. You’ve been vying for many peoples’ attention in personal and professional matters, leaving you little energy to focus on each other’s needs.

Don’t let other people compete for your attention: You must choose where and to whom you will give your attention. Start with yourself and God.

You have done well to maintain professionalism and commendable performance at work. Continue to apply yourself in your craft, for your work serves as an outlet for your creativity—a means by which you can reconnect with your joy … You must ask for this…. You must make the necessary adjustments in your work routines, schedules, and workspace to allow for uncensored, raw, unlimited self-expression.

You’ve been holding back too much, denying yourself the opportunity to unleash your passion in your life, because you fear rejection or judgment from others. Ask yourself, “Is this worth it? What do I gain by giving into my fears that others will judge me?”

bikeA new bicycle awaits you and needs repair. Start there. Design the bike according to your own specifications and paint it however you desire. Let the bike be a metaphor for your own body…. Build yourself a new body, a renewal in the spirit of God’s love, in self-love.

Love yourself as God loves you, and do not deny yourself the blessing of joy and lightheartedness! When is the last time you had a cathartic belly laugh with friends over some hilarious joke, a story… a movie? Seek out the opportunity to laugh more! Watch funny YouTube videos if you must—anything to get your body convulsing in fits of laughter!

Whether alone or with trusted friends, your laughter will bring you to tears…. will lead you to anger… will open the door for forgiveness… and will, finally, give you peace.

By the time you parade your new, decked-out bicycle through the streets of your summertime celebration, you will be ready to meet a special person who will become a teacher and mentor for your spiritual path.

Look out for signposts pointing the way.

Of course, you will know when you have met your teacher, who will appear at first to be a “nobody” (almost invisible), but as soon as you engage in a conversation, his words will speak to your heart. You will feel refreshed in his company, enlivened by his energy, and inspired by his example.

Life has many twists and turns. One thing leads to another. Nothing is ever lost—not even the people who’ve come into our lives for some time, then gone away.

We are all precious pearls on the same string, coiling and spiraling itself through space, keeping us eternally connected through the unconditional, divine, perfect love of our One Creator, the One God who knows all. Trust in this always.

-End of Life Reading-

I wish you blessings on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Advertisements

Forgiveness and generosity lead to financial freedom

  couple

Starting again after years of financial strain, healing can be possible through forgiveness and generosity. E— writes, I wish to know when our financial strain will end.  We have been struggling for 15 years.  My husband was unable to work due to a curse placed on him by a former co-worker.  We believe he’s healed and we are starting again.

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: You should immediately begin planning for early retirement and relocation to a foreign country where the cost of living is much lower. Your overhead is currently too costly and this will continue to put unnecessary strain on your finances. There is an easier, less stressful option for you and your partner at this time.

Look into foreign investments and limit the support you give to family. Take care of yourselves now so that you can enjoy your retirement together without the stress that you’ve been under for these past years. 

What you think was a “curse” is actually a “karmic rebalancing” from a past life where your husband grievously harmed this individual in such a way that he was left destitute and homeless. In this life, your husband has had to “repay that debt” by experiencing his own financial hardship as a result of the influence of this individual. It is important for your husband to actively seek the forgiveness of this person, to make amends, and to forgive him for any wrongdoing.

To harbor resentment or to hold a grudge will only perpetuate your husband’s suffering in the future. It is better to put an immediate end to this negativity through an act of forgiveness. Start by writing an email, then try to met in person with the intention to make amends and move on with your lives. Everyone will feel much better after this is done.

Your husband might consider donating a portion of his current earnings to a chosen charity with the intention to clear the karmic debt that caused his past financial problems. (Note: I am NOT suggesting that you make any donation to me, as this would clearly be a conflict of interest!)…. When you are ready to make your donation, say a prayer (out loud) or write down a prayer on paper that this offering will serve as redemption for any past wrongdoings. Continue to make these donations regularly (monthly or bi-monthly), in combination with your prayer, until you see noticeable improvements in your financial situation (and you will soon, through your generosity).

Be sure not to let yourself get lonely. Now that your husband is busy with work, you find yourself alone a lot and wishing you had more company. Seek the company of friends and family. Join an activity group or social club in your area. Keep yourself occupied and out of negative habits that could affect your ability to make healthy, wise decisions. Now that you have more financial resources available, you must be careful to use them wisely, not spend extravagantly, and invest properly.

Avoid hasty, impulse spending. Instead, take time to research whatever you are thinking about buying before you buy it. Remember that you have a lot of choices and you don’t have to settle for the first thing that comes your way. You don’t have to be in a rush to spend your money.

A family member (close relative) will be asking you and your husband for money. Avoid giving too much. Explain to this person that you and your husband are now planning for retirement and must focus primarily on this. Encourage this person to be more financially independent. By being a good example of wise financial planning, you will help this family member more than if you just handed over your money.

Tend to your health and future happiness. The stress of these past years has taken undue toll on you. Take exercise classes and learn to meditate. Listen to relaxing music while you soak in a bathtub of hot water. The key is to relax as much as you can in the best way you know how. This will become more important in the coming years, since you will need to support your husband in learning how to relax and unwind too. Be an example for him. It won’t help to have two stressed-out people approaching retirement. You will have to lead the charge on a restful, happy retirement together.

Do not delay in looking into investments in a foreign country of your choice. Talk it over with your husband and take a trip at your next available opportunity. You won’t regret it.

Now is the time to do it: You must invest in your future health, well-being, and happiness together. Forgiveness is paramount now. Forgiveness will unlock the door that has blocked your financial freedom.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best and may God bless you on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Personal health and wellness

opening_the_heart_chakra_by_jslattumd2o1x8d

Seeking guidance about finding my life partner, how to do my spiritual practice, forgiveness, love, and finding a job: V— writes,

  • Why so far have I not been lucky in finding a life partner?
  • Spiritually I am growing all the time but I cannot find it in myself to meditate. Is there a block?
  • All I want to do is meet my life partner in this life and dedicate my life to helping people in whatever form. That’s when I’m at my happiest. I am tired of the corporate life. Am I being wrong in wanting this?
  • I keep getting signs of me needing to open my Heart Chakra, giving and receiving love, forgive…etc. I have been doing as much as I can. What is the best way to do this? Thank you for this opportunity for help. It’s much appreciated.
  • Right now I am jobless. I need a job because I don’t have money right now. Why is it not happening for me? I have 20 years work experience and skills. I have re-located to another city to take care of my Mom who is recovering from surgery. I am finding it difficult to get a job. What do I need to do to change this?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:

In a previous life, your partner brutally murdered you by piercing you in the chest with a knife out of revenge and anger. You can release the karmic effects of this trauma by praying and asking God to cleanse and heal these wounds to your subtle emotional body.

This residual trauma has prevented you in this life from being able to receive love when offered to you by a potential partner, for in the past, this brought you to your death. The best way to cleanse away this negative energy is to participate in a ceremony involving fire, whether in the form of a bonfire (with a pile of old shoes?), a sweat lodge, or a small outdoor fire.

A healthy partnership can only come when one can authentically maintain wellness for oneself, independent of the other partner.

Do you honestly feel that you are keeping yourself well, physically and mentally, in your daily life? Is there a substance or a habit that has become addictive and harmful to your health? Are you prepared to address this and make necessary changes so that you can be healthy? Addictions act as a constant distraction from our equanimity and inner peace.

You want to “help others” …. Be sure to help yourself first and feel honestly that you are on the path to getting healthy and free of harmful addiction.

Details about your work situation and finding a job are not relevant to this reading at this time, as your personal health and wellness are of critical importance. Once you address this, then your external circumstances (including your job) will naturally unfold from there.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best and may God bless you on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama