In this Life Reading, a client asked the following questions:
I was in an abusive marriage and left my marital home. A few years later I got divorced. My eldest son, who is now an adult, still holds this against me. His anger at me is now causing problems in his own marriage. He and his wife are currently separated.
Is there any chance of them getting back together? I started a travel company a few years ago organizing tours to India, but it is not going well. I feel blocked at every attempt I make to progress. There is always something that comes up to block my success.
Could you give me some guidance, please? I am not employed and have no other source of income, so my life has been very stressful. I do have a very good man in my life; however, I don’t like being a burden to him, and right now, we survive on his income only. It has been difficult!
Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:
- a large desk
- sunlight streaming into your room
- computer equipment
- a red wall hanging
- a vacation with your son
- reorganizing your office space and getting rid of clutter
- candlelight and fire, especially within a ceremonial context
The block you have been experiencing in your business venture is related to unresolved shame and guilt that is leftover from your previous abusive relationship. You would benefit from taking more time to meditate – Is there a tiger skin rug or some kind of special rug you can spread on the floor for your meditation time?
By meditating more regularly, you will be able to connect with what this “shame” and “guilt” means to you. Be honest with yourself: reflect on how guilt and shame are still operating in your life today, especially in the context of your business. Have you been denying yourself something out of a sense of guilt? Do you feel that you are undeserving? In your meditation, pray and ask for help to clear the energy of guilt and shame from your life.
Give yourself time to feel into where these emotions may be coming from, and recognize the origin. Realize that you do not have to hold onto these negative energies, and you don’t have to be limited by them. Identify the mission and vision of your business. Then, ask yourself, “Am I a living example of the mission and vision of my business?” In other words, are you living your life in a way that would inspire your would-be customers to seek out your services? If not, then enlist the help of a trusted friend to identify ways that you can start to exemplify your company’s mission and vision. This is important for the success of your business.
It seems that you have been feeling a lack of inspiration in your life in general, and dwelling too much on the past, on what could-have-been, or should-have-been. This is blocking your creativity. Use your meditation to work on releasing this blockage, pray and ask for assistance, and affirm that you are free from guilt and shame.
Affirm that you are a living, breathing example of inspiration for your customers! Is there some kind of creative art that you have been reluctant to do, for some reason? Let this creative expression find its way into your business. Feel the inspiration of your own creativity as it enhances and ignites sparks of life and light into your business activity.
You would benefit from a larger workspace – a desk – for spreading out brochures and organizing papers that seem to have become disorganized. You might consider reorganizing your office space and clearing away unnecessary clutter. Toss old papers that you have no use for anymore. It is important for you to keep your private/personal life separate from your work life as much as possible. This means that you should organize and store work-related papers, files, and materials in a separate room from your personal things. This will help you stay focused, keep your mental thoughts clear, and maintain organization.
Keeping your work life separate from your personal life will also help your current relationship: When you are with your partner at home, try not to discuss your business activities. Stay focused on the everyday, ordinary, enjoyable aspects of life at home with your loving partner. Appreciate the “little things” about the life that you share.
Consider entering into a business partnership with a trusted friend who can help you boost your web marketing. A business partner will take pressure off your romantic partner, because you will have someone else to talk to and strategize about your business.
Take your business to the next level with an upgrade in computer equipment. You and your friend will be able to do this together, but alone, you seem to be lacking certain needed skills in the area of online marketing and promotion of your services.
Eat more fresh fruits. You will benefit from letting more sunlight into your home and exposing your skin to sunlight more often. This will energize you and spark your creativity.
Have you been yearning to take a trip somewhere? Invite your son to accompany you on this special trip. Take the time off from work and other obligations to go on this trip, and be sure to spend quality time alone with your son. It seems that he is dealing with unresolved anger towards you because he has not been able to express it to you or anyone else constructively. Be prepared to engage your son in somewhat emotionally trying dialogues about your past and how your decisions affected him when he was young.
Give him all the time he needs to be honest with you, even if his words are painful for you to hear. Be open and honest with him about your own process – Have you had the opportunity to talk with your son about how the abuse affected you when you were married to your previous partner? Take time to explain to your son how you took his safety and wellness into consideration when you decided to divorce your ex-husband.
Be patient with your son; it may take some time for him to forgive you. Do not pressure him with your own expectations or desires for his life. You must be honest with him about how you feel, but he must make his own decisions.
There is a bold, red-colored wall hanging or decoration that you could gift to your son. Ask him to place it somewhere in his home – on the wall or on a table – where he will see it daily. The color red will help him externalize and express his anger appropriately and constructively.
Consider the benefits of candlelight and fire in your life, especially within a ceremonial context. Look to your community for how and where to do this.
-End of reading-
I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama