Why I’m practicing celibacy for one year

I’m going through divorce. Again. The “again” part is the main reason why I’m taking a break from relationships—and sex—for a while. For a year.

Either I haven’t been making good decisions about my partners, or there is something inherently flawed in my character. Judging from how my intimate relationships have gone over the past decade (starting out with raging, fiery passion and gradually petering out to a dying ember), the latter is most likely the case: There’s something in me that’s gone awry, and I’m the only one who can fix it. I suppose it’s about time I try to fix myself, before it’s too late.

I’m not mentally handicapped, and no professional has declared me to be mentally ill. Even so, I admit that I have my issues, as I suppose we all do. For one, I admit that I’ve been somewhat confused in the arena of relationships: how to make relationships work; how to have healthy relationships; how to avoid the most common pitfalls; et cetera, et cetera…. It appears I keep falling face first into the deepest ditches, in spite of being reasonably intelligent and accomplished in other aspects of my life.

Over the years, when it comes to relationships, I’ve gotten some good advice from friends and some not-so-good advice from so-called friends. All the advice has been pretty much useless. Because humans do what they want to do, no matter what. We always seem to find a way to fulfill our appetites for whatever it is we think we need: food, sex, money, cars, … faster, bigger, better … more, more, more…. While this formula might provide some instant gratification or at least some short-term satisfaction, look where it’s gotten us, hmmm?

I once attended a sacred ceremony led by an indigenous Mayan elder I met in the mountains of southern Mexico. He held the bowl of copal incense in his hands and gazed thoughtfully at the smoke as it curled up toward the sky, carrying our prayers. “The best things in life are free,” he said, and then he told a story about how his ancestors lived—and thrived—before we started slapping price tags and bar codes on everything.

One thing I’ve learned is that people are stupid. That includes me. We only believe what we want to believe. We only see what we want to see. We only hear what we want to hear. Et cetera, et cetera. I suppose that’s why we benefit from attempting to refine our intellect by reading books, writing poetry and doing crossword puzzles. Humans without lofty pursuits default to behaving like monkeys. I repeat: That includes me.

For what it’s worth, I’ve made a commitment to myself to practice celibacy for one year. This means I’m currently in a “state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations”… for one year. I think I need at least that much time just to get used to the idea.

For most of my adult life, I’ve had an impressively diverse range of experience in terms of partnership and everything that comes along with it, including sex. I live for experiences.

Every experience enriches me, builds my character, teaches me something and changes me. That’s why I travel and work in different places with different people. That’s why I change my environment frequently. I seek experiences, and these have included experimentation with sex and drugs. Wait… sex is a drug. For me, it has been somewhat of an addiction.

Recently, I’ve summoned the inner strength to be honest enough with myself to recognize my addiction and to make a more concerted effort to slay the dragon, lest it kill me first.

I’m multi-talented, multi-variegated and multi-layered, somewhat like Neapolitan ice cream. When you take a bite, you can never be sure what flavor you’ll get. I would like to blend my flavors into something more … consistent. When it comes to food, consistency matters. When it comes to partners, consistency matters. It makes for better relationships. Less complicated ones, anyway.

 

Why I’m Practicing Celibacy

I like challenges. Throughout my life, I’ve enjoyed taking on more than I thought I could. I graduated valedictorian of my class in both high school and college. I like to challenge myself to improve, to excel, and to grow in ways that matter.

I’m practicing celibacy for one year, because so far, I’ve never been able to remain celibate for more than a few months. I’ve tried it before, but as I mentioned in a previous blog post, I was too swayed by my thirty-something-year-old hormones and too dismayed by loneliness.

I think I’ve reached a point in my life when I’m ready for this challenge. It’s a realistic one for me to take on, so I’m willing to make the commitment to myself.

A skilled astrologer once analyzed my natal chart (a visual display of how the planets aligned on the day and hour of my birth). He placed the chart on the table, removed his spectacles and looked quizzically at me until I felt uncomfortable.

“What?” I asked him.

He cleared his throat. He was a gray-haired, somewhat gruff man. “I feel sorry for you,” he said.

“Why?” I asked him.

He proceeded to explain that I am a “quintuple Scorpio”, which apparently means that there are five planets in the sign of Scorpio on my chart.

“What’s that mean?” I asked him.

Again, he said, “I feel sorry for you.”

He continued with his explanation. I listened carefully and took scrupulous notes on the subject. At the time, I didn’t really believe in astrology, nor did I know much about it, but since that day, I’ve done some research to see if other sources corroborate with what the astrologer told me.

Indeed, I agree with the no-nonsense astrologer. I feel sorry for myself and anybody else who’s a quintuple Scorpio. Life is cursed with an incessant drive to dig oneself as deeply into as many caves and holes and ditches as possible, just to find what’s buried underneath the layers. And just for the thrill of it. My five planets in Scorpio compel me to seek thrills and to therefore experience the passion and cascade of emotions that come along with thrill-seeking.

A person with five planets in Scorpio is likely to be intensely passionate and inclined toward excessive sexual activity due to a raging libido, a high degree of creativity and intuition, and a desire and ability to connect deeply on many levels with self and others. Along with all of this comes a tremendous capacity for healing. Because we go deep.

Check.

Yep. That describes me.

I think it’s worthwhile to at least try to transcend astrology and, for that matter, any other “-ism” or “-ology” that would otherwise limit myself to behaving a certain way.

I’m practicing celibacy because it challenges me to go against what my biological tendency would have me do (namely, f*ck like a bonobo). I’m attempting to do the opposite (namely, sublimate my biological urges). To use a monkey-like analogy, it’s kind of like ignoring an itch instead of scratching.

I believe a geeky scientist friend of mine whose research has convinced me that the human species doesn’t have very long left to enjoy living on this planet, because we’ve screwed it up enough for Mother Earth to start shaking us off like parasitic fleas. Whether or not my scientist friend’s hypothesis is correct, I could realistically die any day, at any moment. I don’t want to die full of regrets. Now is the time to start making amends, forgiving myself and others, and generally trying to be the best person I can possibly be.

I regret some of the choices I’ve made in the arena of my sexual relationship with life. My choices haven’t all been the most empowering or wise. Taking a break from sex will give me time to reflect and forgive myself for being stupid. I’ve hurt some people in ways I regret.

I hereby dedicate my year of celibacy to making amends with the people I’ve hurt, with a solemn wish for healing and empowerment on all levels (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) for all of us.

 

Why I’m Not Practicing Celibacy

I’m not choosing celibacy because anyone is telling me to do it, or because I’m following some kind of religious dogma. I’m practicing celibacy because my spirit is calling me to do it, because I know it is good for me.

I’m not practicing a one-year vow of celibacy because it will please my Momma or because it will “please God”: I don’t even know what that means….

Although I consider myself a Christian, I don’t believe in the dogma. I believe in Jesus Christ as my guru, my teacher, someone whose life and teachings are worth aspiring to (what we know of Jesus’ life, anyway).

I believe that Jesus mastered the art of yoga and as a fully self-realized individual, he was imbued with miraculous healing powers and fully empowered by the universe (“God”) to do what the bible says he did, which probably should include a lot of stuff that has since been cast aside and/or adulterated by religious authorities whose vested interests were more sociopolitical than spiritual.

Suffice it to say that I don’t give a damn about religion. I’m interested in living an authentic life in alignment with my highest potential as a spiritual being temporarily stuck in a human body.

 

Why I Think Celibacy is a Worth My Effort

Since I’ve moved to Central America and traveled extensively in Mexico, Guatemala, and most recently, Belize, I’ve had the privilege of learning a thing or two from indigenous people who’ve studied traditional healing for their entire lives.

A friend of mine who carries the wisdom of healing with plants is a Mayan elder whose native tongue is Kek’chi. We often sit together in my riverside bungalow in the tropical jungle and talk about a lot of things, because we are both interested in spirituality (whatever that means).

Exactly one year ago, we had a conversation that has impacted me deeply but it wasn’t until now that I could take his advice seriously.

“If you want to learn how to use prayers for healing,” he said, “You will really have to concentrate. You will have to be celibate, at least for a while,” he told me.

At first, I resisted the idea. Something in me rebelled. “Why?” I asked him.

“You will need to gather all your inner power. Your strength. It will take a lot of concentration. You need all the strength you can get.”

I listened carefully.

“Once you start learning, if you engage in sexual relations with another person, you could hurt yourself. You could hurt that person. You don’t want to do that.”

Yet, that’s precisely what I went ahead and did, regrettably. More than once. I didn’t listen to my teacher. Like a monkey, I only heard what I wanted to hear.

I rebelled. I defaulted to my shadow self (my quintuple Scorpio nature?) and did what I thought was okay at the time. Inevitably, there were consequences. Unpleasant ones. I’ve since healed, but I can’t say the same for the other people involved. I can only hope and pray that they learned something too.

Some people say there are no mistakes, only learning opportunities. If that’s true, then over the past year, I’ve learned a lot. At least, I’ve had the opportunity to learn a lot.

I’m grateful.

At this time in my life, living alone as a single woman in a third world country, the benefits of celibacy appear to far outweigh the benefits of playing the field. Consider my list of pros and cons:

PRO celibacy

PRO sex CON celibacy CON sex
health feels good loneliness risk of STDs
increased energy fear of being alone risk of pregnancy
safety risk of rape
better relationships negative reputation

hurt feelings

From a purely logical perspective, it appears most wise for me to be celibate, at least for now. I figure one year will give me enough time to not only get used to the idea, but maybe to learn to like it. At first, medicine might taste bitter, but over time, it might start to taste sweet. Who knows? I might be dead by the end of my one-year vow of celibacy. In that case, hopefully I will have died with a clear conscience and a more integrated sense of self. All in all, I think it’s worth my effort.

If I live beyond my one-year vow, hopefully I will have learned something about myself. I think I’m ready to learn something new, but first, I have to be willing to try something new.

 

 

 

Faith, hope, and love

portal of time in clouds

You are all destined to live eternally in oneness with the Creator—with everything—all at once. No limitation. Only limitless creation and pure potential: eternal life.

This is a grace that each one of you has the opportunity in every moment of every day to receive through faith, hope, and love. To open your hearts to joy, love, goodness, forgiveness, charity, generosity, purity—the Christ consciousness.

meditation omYes, there have been many great teachers sent down to lead, guide, influence, and model a life of Christ consciousness. Consider their great works: Did they not emphasize unconditional love and forgiveness?—every one of these great teachers and masters throughout the ages, including the great, most esteemed Jesus Christ?

Who among you is really living—today—the way these great teachers taught us to live?

Stop wasting your time, precious hearts!

We can wait for eternity. There is no time. We have eternity; we have everything. We are everything. Who among you is living as if there was no time whatsoever to waste on anything but faith, hope, and love—in each moment?

Every one of you is each other’s opportunity. Don’t miss out!

cell phone towerReaders have written to me recently, asking me to provide a backdrop for the “Ascended Master Readings“—a description of the circumstances of my life at the time of channeling…. Okay, yes… I can do that for you, if it provides a context that gives deeper meaning and significance to the messages of the Ascended Masters. I am dedicated to acting as a channel for these “angels”, and my readership includes those of you for whom their messages are “beaming down” onto the planet at this time. I am honored, and I thank you!

I facetiously employ the term “beam down” (I have been watching quite a bit of Star Trek for the first time in my life), because that is how it feels to me now. As a channel and facilitator for the messages of the Ascended Masters, I not only “receive” the information clairvoyantly (seeing) and clairaudiently (hearing), but I also feel the essence of the messages on a visceral level. This intuitive sense always alerts me that the angels wish to communicate …through me. I think it is no coincidence that where I am currently living has a distinct feature: A tall cell phone satellite tower rises above the landscape and reminds me of my role as a kind of “antenna” to receive and transmit the messages of the Ascended Masters.

1 looking out to seaAs a resident of Belize, a small country just south of Mexico bordering the Caribbean Sea, I have the privilege of access to some of the most stunning, pristine nature on the planet. Belize is a third-world country that has not been pillaged by over-development. Much of the rainforest is still intact, the coastline features white-sand beaches, and the Maya Mountains are home to some of the most diverse flora and fauna on earth.

When I’m not facilitating a retreat at one of the tourist destinations, whether deep in the jungle or on a tropical beach, I am on my own retreat—a writing retreat—where my pen flies upon the paper day and night, at random hours, and I keep myself busy composing, transcribing, and capturing as much as I can into a permanent recorded form. I have friends and family who love and support me in my intention to be a “scribe”, a role that I take seriously and value above all else. At age 39, I have intentionally “abandoned husband, hearth, and home” (as a friend succinctly expressed). Why? To focus, uncompromisingly, on my mission: my service to humanity. Nothing else matters to me.

Sammie with coconutsSammie, a Jack Russell terrier, shares the beachside bungalow with me, where I wake before sunrise to watch as the morning glow brightens to a blaze over the Caribbean Sea right outside my window.

I share this, dear readers, because I want to emphasize that while it may seem that I live in a veritable paradise, it has taken me many years and much personal suffering to “arrive” at what seems like an ideal destination to write and publish the “Ascended Master Readings”. Mostly, it has been a great sacrifice, as I’ve conveyed in my recently published Poetry Collection I: Perspectives, illustrated with photos I took myself, in conjunction with heartfelt poems that tell the story of my life.

At sunset, after sitting all day in front of my computer or at a table writing by hand in my journal, I am ready for some physical movement. I have been jogging barefoot along the stretch of white-sand beach beside a pier that is reportedly over a hundred years old, where pirates arrived and docked on the shore of this tiny colony, previously under British rule, seeking their share of the spoils. As a foreigner in this strange land, I suppose I am not unlike the pirates, in search of something new and exciting and valuable.

cell phone tower 2Over the past week, the daily sunrise and sunset have featured phenomenal and rare cloud formations that have had me racing to retrieve my camera, sometimes just in time to capture the illumination of the sunlight reflecting on the clouds in just the right way to reveal the most unusual imagery.

The light shining through the clouds appears to me as a kind of “portal” – a door opening to a different world, perhaps to Heaven itself. I don’t suggest this jokingly. I believe that the portals are actually opening for humanity’s uplifting, for this is exactly what the Ascended Masters reveal in their readings, which I have the honor and privilege to receive and transmit to you at this time.

Click here to download the Ascended Master Readings.

Thank you.

Finding peace after the loss of a family member

V— requests a Life Reading, seeking guidance and insights to many questions about personal wellness, marriage, spirituality, and life’s purpose:

birdMy son passed away last year. I’ve had some deep insights into my spirituality and some real indicators to our connectedness to the other side of the veil—an awakening, perhaps.

Why am I so unbelievably exhausted and unmotivated? The exhaustion seems to be getting much worse. Medical tests show that everything is normal. How do I fix this?

I have since had shamanism presented to me numerous times, although I have resisted. I am having trouble finding help on this new path. I feel like I am adrift.

Is this the path meant for me? Will I find a mentor?

And why can’t I seem to find my spirit guides? … Or, have I found them, and I just don’t know it?

I see so many images when I meditate, but I can’t seem to make sense of them all. Even when I’m not meditating; for example, just closing my eyes during emotional moments, I still see images. (I swear, I’m not crazy!)

What am I supposed to do with my life? How do I make my time here on earth meaningful? What’s my purpose, and how do I find the energy to pursue it?

How do I find joy in life again? Everything that’s going on in the world seems too overwhelming. So many bad things are happening…. I sometimes feel nauseous hearing about it on TV or social media, to the point where I’ve stopped watching the news…. I’m seriously considering shutting down my Facebook account. It’s really sickening and heartbreaking—all this hate in the world.

My husband is…. a difficult person. Although, I’m sure I’m difficult too. Am I being selfish when I think about leaving him, or should I just suck it up and try harder? Is this relationship my life lesson in patience and compassion? Is it more honorable to stay together?

In the past, I was intuitive and good at seeing the big picture, but now, I can’t see the forest for all the trees. I used to be really confident and grounded when I was younger, but now, I just feel so off kilter.

What is happening to me?

Life Reading by Parama

wolfYour son’s death has left a void in your external world, but you still feel him on the inner plane. Connections can never be lost.

“Daddy, Mommy,” your son says, “I know you miss me, but I had to leave. It was my time to go. Some people get a whole lifetime—I only got twelve years. I learned what I needed to learn, and you taught me well. I know you wanted to save me, but it was my time to go.

“Please let me go. I want to move on, too. But I can’t, because you are holding on so tight to your guilt – wishing you could have saved me.

“Let me fly! I want to fly. When you look up and see a bird with its wings outstretched, hovering above you, you’ll know it’s a sign from my spirit, having united with the Almighty One God.

“Remember me, but let me go—let me fly—let me be free and live forever in your hearts. Mommy, Daddy—one day we will reunite. I know, because the angels tell me so. And we will be happy together, forever with God.

“Take down my bedroom, my play toys, the favorite truck of mine that always makes you cry, and please, for my sake, give it away to a charity so that some other child can play the way I once did. This will please me, bring me joy, and help set our spirits free.

“Please… I want to see you happy again. I want to see you play together the way you used to play with me.

“You can’t make me come back, but you can be happy now. You have each other, and that’s a gift from God. I’ll never forget you, … ever, ever.”

The spirit of the wolf walks with you and protects you. The wolf is a fierce guardian of what you hold dear. Ask for protection and guidance from God, and then close your eyes, listen, and pay attention. A wolf—a guardian spirit gifted to you from God—is a fearless, loyal, dedicated provider and protector for you, especially as you consider bringing another child into your family. You will know when you are ready.

An unhealthy substance addiction has sapped you of energy and consumed your creativity. Seek support to free yourself from these chains. Ask God to help you…. Cry out if you must.

Have you let yourself cry over the loss of your son?

Find a loving, supportive friend from your local community whom you trust. You’ve known this person a long time, and she has great wisdom and a deep understanding of who you are. Ask her to listen to you talk about your substance addiction. Receive her unconditional love and support. Rely on her whenever you feel tempted to indulge.

Drowning out the pain cannot make it go away. Denial can only amplify your pain, until it consumes you—all of you. Will you let this happen? You don’t want to feel your pain, so you have found a way to justify your addiction, as if you were entitled to indulge in self-destructive behaviors.

This is extremely taxing to your nervous system, throws your hormones off balance, and exhausts you.

The time has come to fervently—Start now—seek healthy outlets to vent your emotions, which you’ve managed with great effort to stuff deep inside of yourself.

Using your chosen art medium, capture the images you see in meditation or when your eyes are closed. Give the images your own expression: Give them a voice, a shape, and free them from being trapped inside of you.

A new dance can only begin when you’re willing—and ready—to let go of whatever’s holding you back, get up, and embrace your dance partner.

people-dancing-silhouette-icon-25When you first met your partner, you used to dance, play, and explore together. You’ve stopped taking the time to enjoy being together.

Ask God to renew and rebuild your life. Regenerate yourself and your relationship through God’s love and your love for each other. You can do this. What seems to be “difficult” about your relationship will transform as you express yourself more and more.

Unburden yourself from guilt.

Rely on trustworthy friends to help you. Don’t expect your partner to fulfill your needs for support. It’s too much right now. If you build a solid support network for yourself outside of your primary partnership, then over time, you will find that your marriage improves, your perceptions change, and you will be able to enjoy life together, as you once did.

Be patient in your relationship, and do your fair share. You’ve both been struggling, so do not add more burden by expecting the other person to save you from your pain. You must do this work for yourself, in your own heart, with the help of God and your trusted support network.

Have you and your partner considered building a new house or an addition to your house? This could be helpful for you to do together: a collaborative project, creating something new together.

dust-devil-vs-tall-bike-burning-man-2010Consider a vacation getaway with your partner soon. This will help you find new perspectives, as well as giving you needed time alone together. You’ve been vying for many peoples’ attention in personal and professional matters, leaving you little energy to focus on each other’s needs.

Don’t let other people compete for your attention: You must choose where and to whom you will give your attention. Start with yourself and God.

You have done well to maintain professionalism and commendable performance at work. Continue to apply yourself in your craft, for your work serves as an outlet for your creativity—a means by which you can reconnect with your joy … You must ask for this…. You must make the necessary adjustments in your work routines, schedules, and workspace to allow for uncensored, raw, unlimited self-expression.

You’ve been holding back too much, denying yourself the opportunity to unleash your passion in your life, because you fear rejection or judgment from others. Ask yourself, “Is this worth it? What do I gain by giving into my fears that others will judge me?”

bikeA new bicycle awaits you and needs repair. Start there. Design the bike according to your own specifications and paint it however you desire. Let the bike be a metaphor for your own body…. Build yourself a new body, a renewal in the spirit of God’s love, in self-love.

Love yourself as God loves you, and do not deny yourself the blessing of joy and lightheartedness! When is the last time you had a cathartic belly laugh with friends over some hilarious joke, a story… a movie? Seek out the opportunity to laugh more! Watch funny YouTube videos if you must—anything to get your body convulsing in fits of laughter!

Whether alone or with trusted friends, your laughter will bring you to tears…. will lead you to anger… will open the door for forgiveness… and will, finally, give you peace.

By the time you parade your new, decked-out bicycle through the streets of your summertime celebration, you will be ready to meet a special person who will become a teacher and mentor for your spiritual path.

Look out for signposts pointing the way.

Of course, you will know when you have met your teacher, who will appear at first to be a “nobody” (almost invisible), but as soon as you engage in a conversation, his words will speak to your heart. You will feel refreshed in his company, enlivened by his energy, and inspired by his example.

Life has many twists and turns. One thing leads to another. Nothing is ever lost—not even the people who’ve come into our lives for some time, then gone away.

We are all precious pearls on the same string, coiling and spiraling itself through space, keeping us eternally connected through the unconditional, divine, perfect love of our One Creator, the One God who knows all. Trust in this always.

-End of Life Reading-

I wish you blessings on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

For business success, be a shining example of your mission and vision

14027418148_9631e1c602_m

In this Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

I was in an abusive marriage and left my marital home. A few years later I got divorced. My eldest son, who is now an adult, still holds this against me. His anger at me is now causing problems in his own marriage. He and his wife are currently separated.

Is there any chance of them getting back together? I started a travel company a few years ago organizing tours to India, but it is not going well. I feel blocked at every attempt I make to progress. There is always something that comes up to block my success.

Could you give me some guidance, please? I am not employed and have no other source of income, so my life has been very stressful. I do have a very good man in my life; however, I don’t like being a burden to him, and right now, we survive on his income only. It has been difficult!

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:

  • a large desk
  • sunlight streaming into your room
  • computer equipment
  • a red wall hanging
  • a vacation with your son
  • reorganizing your office space and getting rid of clutter
  • candlelight and fire, especially within a ceremonial context

The block you have been experiencing in your business venture is related to unresolved shame and guilt that is leftover from your previous abusive relationship. You would benefit from taking more time to meditate – Is there a tiger skin rug or some kind of special rug you can spread on the floor for your meditation time?

By meditating more regularly, you will be able to connect with what this “shame” and “guilt” means to you. Be honest with yourself: reflect on how guilt and shame are still operating in your life today, especially in the context of your business. Have you been denying yourself something out of a sense of guilt? Do you feel that you are undeserving? In your meditation, pray and ask for help to clear the energy of guilt and shame from your life.

Give yourself time to feel into where these emotions may be coming from, and recognize the origin. Realize that you do not have to hold onto these negative energies, and you don’t have to be limited by them. Identify the mission and vision of your business. Then, ask yourself, “Am I a living example of the mission and vision of my business?” In other words, are you living your life in a way that would inspire your would-be customers to seek out your services? If not, then enlist the help of a trusted friend to identify ways that you can start to exemplify your company’s mission and vision. This is important for the success of your business.

It seems that you have been feeling a lack of inspiration in your life in general, and dwelling too much on the past, on what could-have-been, or should-have-been. This is blocking your creativity. Use your meditation to work on releasing this blockage, pray and ask for assistance, and affirm that you are free from guilt and shame.

Affirm that you are a living, breathing example of inspiration for your customers! Is there some kind of creative art that you have been reluctant to do, for some reason? Let this creative expression find its way into your business. Feel the inspiration of your own creativity as it enhances and ignites sparks of life and light into your business activity.

You would benefit from a larger workspace – a desk – for spreading out brochures and organizing papers that seem to have become disorganized. You might consider reorganizing your office space and clearing away unnecessary clutter. Toss old papers that you have no use for anymore. It is important for you to keep your private/personal life separate from your work life as much as possible. This means that you should organize and store work-related papers, files, and materials in a separate room from your personal things. This will help you stay focused, keep your mental thoughts clear, and maintain organization.

Keeping your work life separate from your personal life will also help your current relationship: When you are with your partner at home, try not to discuss your business activities. Stay focused on the everyday, ordinary, enjoyable aspects of life at home with your loving partner. Appreciate the “little things” about the life that you share.

Consider entering into a business partnership with a trusted friend who can help you boost your web marketing. A business partner will take pressure off your romantic partner, because you will have someone else to talk to and strategize about your business.

Take your business to the next level with an upgrade in computer equipment. You and your friend will be able to do this together, but alone, you seem to be lacking certain needed skills in the area of online marketing and promotion of your services.

Eat more fresh fruits. You will benefit from letting more sunlight into your home and exposing your skin to sunlight more often. This will energize you and spark your creativity.

Have you been yearning to take a trip somewhere? Invite your son to accompany you on this special trip. Take the time off from work and other obligations to go on this trip, and be sure to spend quality time alone with your son. It seems that he is dealing with unresolved anger towards you because he has not been able to express it to you or anyone else constructively. Be prepared to engage your son in somewhat emotionally trying dialogues about your past and how your decisions affected him when he was young.

Give him all the time he needs to be honest with you, even if his words are painful for you to hear. Be open and honest with him about your own process – Have you had the opportunity to talk with your son about how the abuse affected you when you were married to your previous partner? Take time to explain to your son how you took his safety and wellness into consideration when you decided to divorce your ex-husband.

Be patient with your son; it may take some time for him to forgive you. Do not pressure him with your own expectations or desires for his life. You must be honest with him about how you feel, but he must make his own decisions.

There is a bold, red-colored wall hanging or decoration that you could gift to your son. Ask him to place it somewhere in his home – on the wall or on a table – where he will see it daily. The color red will help him externalize and express his anger appropriately and constructively.

Consider the benefits of candlelight and fire in your life, especially within a ceremonial context. Look to your community for how and where to do this.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Looking for someone to love? Be the love you seek.

feet together

In this request for a Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

  • Will a love relationship form in my life in the near future? I’ve been struggling with dating guys and falling for the wrong one fast.
  • Why do I get so emotionally connected quickly? I’m young, and I like to have fun, but my love life is in a famine.
  • Will I be partnered up soon or stay single for a while longer?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: Being with a partner is the opportunity to get to know yourself. It is irrelevant whether you are “partnered up” or not – for we are always, ultimately, simply seeing and knowing ourselves through the reflection of the other people in our lives. That is why the nature of relationships is so transitory – and why we suffer so much in the thrall of trying to maintain, mend, or establish relationships. Because we are busy doing so with an attachment to the result: We are attached to getting something, going somewhere, becoming something more – by means of the relationship.

Sometimes we deceive ourselves, believing that the love we feel in our relationship is “all about the other person” — because the other person is this way, or that way — we can love them. This is an illusion. Love is not about the other person. Being “in love” means that we are in love with the reflection of ourselves within the other person. Try entering into a new relationship without any attachments.

Try simply being present with the other person, recognizing that the other person is always and in every way reflecting back some aspect of yourself. If it is “love” you are seeking, then be “love” for yourself. Be totally in love with yourself! This is the secret to a happy, fulfilling relationship – to be fully satisfied and full within oneself first. It is a certain set-up for future suffering and disappointment to go “looking for love” with and through another person.

All the love we seek lies inside of us, eternally, in each and every moment! There is no seeking, only seeing this to be always the case. Sometimes we discover aspects of ourselves that we don’t find lovable. We’re not proud of these parts of ourselves; we hide from them, and we hide them from other people.

This is where honesty and courage find a home in our hearts – when we discover that we truly want to love all of ourselves, and we find ourselves ready to face those shadow parts, those dragons, those skeletons in the closet. Sometimes those are the things we “fall for” in other people, because what we truly want is to encounter and embrace those parts of ourselves! Thus, we discover the magic, the beauty, and the timeless, irresistible quality of falling in love with another person.

We realize that we love another so that we can learn to love ourselves, to see ourselves, to let ourselves be seen, be held, be loved. There is always something valuable to learn from being “emotionally connected”…. This is our natural, wonderful birthright! Simply recognize your connectedness to be a sacred, holy vessel through which you can connect more deeply and more truly with yourself.

Whether you are falling in or out of love, there are always gifts to be opened, treasured, and stored in our memories. There truly is no loss in love, only the opportunity to love again, more deeply, more fully, with less and less attachment to any desired outcomes. There is no love life to be had “out there”…. There is simply always love – perfect and whole – within yourself, to be reflected and expressed through your relationship with another person.

Let go of your anxiety and attempts to “find” this person, and instead, be the love that you seek, let this love be expressed authentically; and the other person will most certainly show up in your life, simply by virtue of the supernatural force of your own heart bursting forth with love.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Meditate to refresh, renew and rejuvenate

 

meditation-beach-night-water

In this request for a Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

How can I motivate myself, find happiness internally, when a part of my mind and soul are shattered from post traumatic stress disorder?

How can I stop treating people horribly, especially the ones I love, when all I ever do lately is see their and my own flaws and lose my temper in a millisecond? I never used to be so bitter and mean!

What are some things I can start doing for myself and/or for those around me to help lift the mood, recognize my own beauty and stop taking my past pain out on others?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:

Exhaustion seems to be the primary issue that emerges from your years of past mental health struggles. It is important to rest and renew yourself as much as possible and to sleep long hours, even if this means foregoing other activities.

Rest and rejuvenation are your top priorities at this time. You may need to ask a family member to support you, as you may benefit from time off work. Your irritability is a symptom of mental and emotional exhaustion. Pick a day, clear your schedule, and sleep as much as possible. Sleep through the entire day if you can. Use ear plugs and curtains to block out sound and light from entering your bedroom. Ask a friend or family member to prepare meals for you on this day so that you can stay in bed and rest as much as possible.

A kidney/adrenal gland cleanse will help you release built up toxins from years of prescription meds. Consider juice fasts and/or herbal remedies and teas that support kidney/adrenal health. Ask at your local health food store about this. Avoid sugar, fried food, strong spices, and alcohol.

Consider a new circle of friends for socializing. The social circle that feels most comfortable and familiar to you may be perpetuating and reinforcing several of your self-destructive tendencies and habits – negative thought forms being most primary. Surround yourself with people who help you stay focused on positive thoughts.

To release yourself from the pain of the past, you must refresh and renew your present perspective. The past is over, and you do not need to identify with it. A sprout grows into a tree because it doesn’t stay stuck in its seed form, nor does the tree identify with being a seed. It is simply what it is, and the seed was at one time a natural and necessary part of its evolution into a tree. Your past has helped you grow into who you are. With a simple shift in perspective, you can recognize how your past has empowered you to be who you are in the present. Seen from this perspective, there are no mistakes, just perfect growth opportunities.

Anger is a reaction to beliefs, concepts, and points of view. When you feel anger, allow yourself to feel it while at the same time asking yourself, “Who is feeling angry?” Examine yourself. Ask, “What am I believing? What concept(s) am I buying into? What point of view am I identifying with?” Watch the anger fall away as you examine your motivation. Liberate yourself from the struggle by examining what motivates the anger in the first place, and then recognize that it is not you, just a temporary phenomenon that is moving through you, and you are moved by it. Instead of reacting, you become the ever-present observer. You love yourself so much that you gaze deeply inside your own heart and fully feel what is to be felt without possessing it or manipulating it. Negativity falls away and you are left with truth, authenticity, peace, happiness.

Meditate. A lot. In your solitude, discipline your mind to focus on the flow of your breath, self-empowering, loving thoughts, and do not indulge in self-deprecation. Toss out any violent or frightening movies from your collection. Read spiritually themed books that inspire and motivate you toward positive thoughts and behaviors.

Consider a make-over or remodeling of your living space, specifically, your bedroom. Clear out unnecessary or unwanted clutter – this includes old collections that you’ve held onto for posterity – and lighten up the mood with brighter colors and improved lighting. If you can expose yourself to more sunlight, this will greatly benefit you.

Fast from listening to and watching news for days at a time. Tune into your inward voice instead. Listen to relaxing and uplifting music instead of watching TV or movies. Meditate daily. Find a meditation teacher if you haven’t already. Meditate before going to sleep at night. Release your mind from any patterns of negative thought and re-pattern your neural pathways toward an enlightened consciousness. With awareness and focus, you can do this. Practice daily, especially right before you go to sleep. Practice observing your breath – the inflow and the outflow. You will gain patience and concentration.

Rest, rejuvenate, and refresh your perspective. Watch your world change.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Forgiveness and generosity lead to financial freedom

  couple

Starting again after years of financial strain, healing can be possible through forgiveness and generosity. E— writes, I wish to know when our financial strain will end.  We have been struggling for 15 years.  My husband was unable to work due to a curse placed on him by a former co-worker.  We believe he’s healed and we are starting again.

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: You should immediately begin planning for early retirement and relocation to a foreign country where the cost of living is much lower. Your overhead is currently too costly and this will continue to put unnecessary strain on your finances. There is an easier, less stressful option for you and your partner at this time.

Look into foreign investments and limit the support you give to family. Take care of yourselves now so that you can enjoy your retirement together without the stress that you’ve been under for these past years. 

What you think was a “curse” is actually a “karmic rebalancing” from a past life where your husband grievously harmed this individual in such a way that he was left destitute and homeless. In this life, your husband has had to “repay that debt” by experiencing his own financial hardship as a result of the influence of this individual. It is important for your husband to actively seek the forgiveness of this person, to make amends, and to forgive him for any wrongdoing.

To harbor resentment or to hold a grudge will only perpetuate your husband’s suffering in the future. It is better to put an immediate end to this negativity through an act of forgiveness. Start by writing an email, then try to met in person with the intention to make amends and move on with your lives. Everyone will feel much better after this is done.

Your husband might consider donating a portion of his current earnings to a chosen charity with the intention to clear the karmic debt that caused his past financial problems. (Note: I am NOT suggesting that you make any donation to me, as this would clearly be a conflict of interest!)…. When you are ready to make your donation, say a prayer (out loud) or write down a prayer on paper that this offering will serve as redemption for any past wrongdoings. Continue to make these donations regularly (monthly or bi-monthly), in combination with your prayer, until you see noticeable improvements in your financial situation (and you will soon, through your generosity).

Be sure not to let yourself get lonely. Now that your husband is busy with work, you find yourself alone a lot and wishing you had more company. Seek the company of friends and family. Join an activity group or social club in your area. Keep yourself occupied and out of negative habits that could affect your ability to make healthy, wise decisions. Now that you have more financial resources available, you must be careful to use them wisely, not spend extravagantly, and invest properly.

Avoid hasty, impulse spending. Instead, take time to research whatever you are thinking about buying before you buy it. Remember that you have a lot of choices and you don’t have to settle for the first thing that comes your way. You don’t have to be in a rush to spend your money.

A family member (close relative) will be asking you and your husband for money. Avoid giving too much. Explain to this person that you and your husband are now planning for retirement and must focus primarily on this. Encourage this person to be more financially independent. By being a good example of wise financial planning, you will help this family member more than if you just handed over your money.

Tend to your health and future happiness. The stress of these past years has taken undue toll on you. Take exercise classes and learn to meditate. Listen to relaxing music while you soak in a bathtub of hot water. The key is to relax as much as you can in the best way you know how. This will become more important in the coming years, since you will need to support your husband in learning how to relax and unwind too. Be an example for him. It won’t help to have two stressed-out people approaching retirement. You will have to lead the charge on a restful, happy retirement together.

Do not delay in looking into investments in a foreign country of your choice. Talk it over with your husband and take a trip at your next available opportunity. You won’t regret it.

Now is the time to do it: You must invest in your future health, well-being, and happiness together. Forgiveness is paramount now. Forgiveness will unlock the door that has blocked your financial freedom.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best and may God bless you on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama