A personal reflection: grieving losses, letting go and loving self

Over two years ago, I separated from my beloved husband of five years while we were living in a remote, mountainous region in southern Mexico. Devastated and suddenly left to travel alone in a notoriously dangerous country, I was faced with terrifying choices, all of which I knew would be painful, no matter which choice I made: stay put in Central America and continue what we’d started (building a tiny house on an acre of land), commit suicide, find a rebound relationship so I wouldn’t have to be alone, or return to the U.S. (the country of my birth)…. Although I thought at the time that I had a choice, I really didn’t.

The universe had its own way of making my path clear, and I had the sense enough to follow the path laid out before me, kind of like Dorothy following the yellow brick road.

A few months before my husband left me, I had arranged to facilitate an intensive, month-long workshop at a local healing center for a group of 15 people who were from Mexico; therefore, I would lead the workshop in Spanish. The workshop, “21-Day Personal Yoga Challenge” gave everyone the opportunity to attend 21 days of daily morning meditation followed by a rigorous yoga practice while maintaining a personal journal with reflections and insights and to keep track of personal goals.

At the end of the 21 days, we would climb up to the top of the nearest mountain, where we would participate in an intensive, day-long workshop with live music that concluded with a special ceremony in which we would “let go” of whatever we were ready to let go of.

I was apparently ready to let go of my marriage of five years.

When I turned to friends and asked for advice about what I should do: Should I stay or should I go? … The most commonly suggested solution to my situation was to pack my bags, forget about my unconventional life south of the border and go live with my family back up in the states. I spent many days hiking by myself, crying out to the birds and the trees, asking the universe, “What do you want me to do?”

Thankfully, the right path was clearly revealed by reality, and I “chose” to stay put, to continue what I’d started and to follow through on my offer to facilitate the workshop. Despite being devastated. Despite being all alone for the first time in seven years. Despite having limited resources.

One thing I learned about myself through this experience is that I have tremendous inner strength, willpower and capacity to overcome challenges. I suppose that’s why it was appropriate for me to lead a workshop entitled “21-Day Personal Challenge” … The timing, at least in my own life, couldn’t have been more perfect.

Instead of spending my days crying, moping around, pining for my long-lost partner and generally feeling sorry for myself, I was called to meaningful service and invited to step up to the plate, to access my own strength and assist others in discovering their own inner strength.

I am proud of everyone who participated: All 15 of us, plus myself, courageously completed our 21-day challenge. I fulfilled my role as a facilitator, showing up on time every morning to guide, to share, and to lead … despite all the odds against my success. I think I learned more from everyone else than they learned from me. I can confidently say that all of us let go of something significant that had been holding us back from moving forward meaningfully in our lives. I know I certainly did.

The timing of this blog entry couldn’t be more perfect. As I am faced with a similar set of challenges at this time in my life, now living in a remote area of southern Belize, I must make some difficult decisions. I have access to more resources now than I did when I lived in Mexico, but the loneliness and isolation are still palpable and sometimes debilitating. I long for the companionship of a loving partner.

Even so, I question whether or not a partner is what is best for me at this time. I am building my house. I am writing my novel. I am working and earning my own money. I am taking care of a wonderful dog who relies on me for food, water and companionship. For the most part, I enjoy myself and my alone time immensely. I ask myself and reflect, Why do I think I need a partner?

Aristotle said, “Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.” I would put myself in the category of wild beast. After all, I live in a tropical jungle and awaken every day to the resounding, guttural call of howler monkeys.

When I was feeling most devastated while living alone in Chiapas, Mexico, I consulted with a psychotherapist who became a dear friend and confidant during my year-long residency there. She is a talented painter, humanitarian and overall a delightful, generous woman who is well-loved and respected in the community. Beside the door to her psychotherapy office hangs a picture she painted with the caption, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”

At the time, suddenly abandoned by my partner and feeling the pain of our separation, reading this message on a weekly basis filled me with renewed strength to forge ahead. To know that I am whole. I am complete. I am strong. Maybe I don’t need a man to be okay.

Maybe it’s okay for me to be alone for a while. For a long while. While I finish my novel. While I earn money and support myself. While I build my house. While I have a wonderful dog to take on long walks.

There was a time in the past when I attempted to practice celibacy, but I was too swayed by my raging 30-something-year-old hormones and dismayed by loneliness to persevere in doing so.

Now might be a good time to reconsider the option of being celibate for a while. After all, engaging in sexual relations with people who are not committed partners only seems to complicate my life, lead to hurt feelings, and put myself at risk for diseases that I otherwise wouldn’t be exposing myself to. The benefits of self-imposed celibacy appear to far outweigh the fleeting pleasure of an occasional orgasm culled from a one-night stand or a weekend fling.

Perhaps now might be an appropriate time in my life to experiment with being celibate— and following through on it—instead of experimenting with sex and all its thrills and consequences.

At forty years of age, I may be single, available, attractive and in robust health, but what I want even more than sex is a companion who loves me for who I am and wants to share a life with me. I’m not interested in compromising what I really want. Despite being lonely. Despite all the odds against finding a suitable mate (besides a howler monkey) while living in a remote tropical jungle.

I’m not living in a third world country to enjoy some kind of vacation or to have an easy life. Every day is downright challenging and at times frightening. Every day I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps, grab a machete and go foraging in the jungle for whatever I would like to eat. Yes, I have friends and neighbors who help me, but at the end of the day, I’m alone out here, braving a world that’s foreign to me, unfamiliar and always dangerous. It’s a path I’m consciously choosing because I see no better alternative, at least not right now.

I don’t like to socialize because it usually involves spending money, listening to bad music and tolerating conversations I’d rather not participate in. I prefer the company of like-minded weirdos who are a rare breed in this world. I prefer to fly my freak flag high and deal with the reality of having a few quality friends who can join me in what I most love to do.

I’m not interested in a dull, conventional life. There are plenty of other people living mediocre lives and wishing they could do something more interesting. I think I have the strength and tenacity to try something unprecedented. I think I’ve proven that to myself time and time again. I’ve no doubt that I have the willpower and determination.

I hereby declare to myself that I am practicing one year of celibacy as of the date of this publication. Who knows? We might all be dead by then, anyway…. What better way to go out of this world than blazing my own trail of impassioned determination and conviction?

Besides, disciplining myself to want less from others and to expect more from myself seems like a good idea, to me.

I’m making the declaration of my one-year vow of celibacy publicly in this blog for the same reason that couples get married in a public ceremony: I want witnesses. I know at times it won’t be easy. I can look back at this publication and remind myself. I hereby hold myself accountable, knowing that I’ve failed before.

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” ―Albert Einstein

Before I was married, during my marriage and during the two years since our separation, I’ve experienced enough sexual pleasure to last a lifetime. Many lifetimes. Like Eve in her garden of bliss, I continue to gather the succulent fruits from what my partners and I have sown together.

And, like Eve with her garden, I’ve been a playful nymph. I’ve tried everything. Believe me. All the positions. They’re overrated. Regardless of where some of my talents lie, I know that much deeper, longer-lasting satisfaction and fulfillment can be derived from other pursuits.

I will do what my spirit calls me to do. I will go where my heart calls me to go. I will live fully, in alignment with my highest potential. Regardless of the naysayers who think I may be incapable of reaching my lofty or otherwise worldly goals. I’ve learned it’s not worth worrying what other people think about me. Worrying about pleasing anyone other than myself has never gotten me anywhere I want to go. Besides, I consider everyone my teacher: this includes the people I am most challenged by.

I’m interested in living unconventionally. These days, it’s more unconventional to not have sex than to have sex, at least in the Americas. I’ve made a deliberate, conscious choice not to be a breeder in this lifetime, thereby placing me in the vast minority as a single woman at age forty. I’ve chosen this path for many reasons, one of which is to have time and freedom to travel, among other things.

When all is said and done, what I want most is to live a life of service—first and foremost, to myself—and what naturally follows is that I can truly be of service to others.

At this time, serving myself means asserting that my private parts are not open for business. They’re private. I don’t really need anyone else’s anatomy rubbing against mine to be okay with who I am. What I really want is loving companionship. My mind and my heart are open to share. Open to explore. Open to love.

I hereby declare to the universe my intention to love myself. To be happy. To smile every day. To dance. To sing. To live my life fully every day. And so it is. Thank you.

Healing the past by focusing on the present

youth-summit-lg (1)In this Life Reading, a client asked the following question:  My partner and I are currently separated. What does the future hold for me?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: Since you sent this request for a Life Reading, you have come to grips with many aspects of your previous relationship. You have struggled with the pain of realizing how you compromised your integrity, wellbeing and happiness while maintaining an unhealthy relationship that drained you of energy and resources.

Now that you’ve realized this, you wonder how you can have a good, healthy relationship. Do not be hard on yourself for what happened with your previous partner. A new relationship is imminent for you, as you are now doing the hard work of reconciling your past and opening your heart to a new partner.

Nothing has been lost. The lessons you learned will serve you as you forge ahead with a new love relationship, informed by the failures and successes of your previous partnership. The focus now should be on yourself and how you can achieve the highest state of contentment, wellbeing, and integrity for yourself.

Reconcile the pain of the past not through regret and shame, but by focusing your life force energy on the present – on making the present be the best and most fulfilling it can be.

Let’s start with your job: Are you feeling stifled, stuck, dissatisfied? Consider a career change. This will require a bold step for you – taking action that you’ve been avoiding, since your energy was consumed by your previous relationship. Now that you have aligned your energy to focus on yourself, you are ready to take the step of finding fulfillment in your professional life.

You seek a greater degree of self-expression, creativity, and application of your keen, exacting intelligence, which your current job does not offer you. This has led to an overall lack of self-esteem, as you have been forced by the nature of your job to follow a set of inane, uninteresting procedures that go against your personal beliefs and convictions about how the same results could be obtained through a much more efficient, less time-consuming, and more conscious way. The overall feeling of boredom, lack of initiative, and discontentedness you’ve been struggling with comes largely from the dynamic that arises daily in your job, where you are obliged to sacrifice your intelligence in exchange for following strict procedures.

Be assured that your unique gifts, talents and abilities are destined to find their expression in a much more fulfilling professional position. You must be prepared to enroll in a series of courses to qualify you for the work that you’ve always wanted to do, but heretofore have been unable to apply enough focus and willpower to achieve.

You can and will succeed in the career of your choice. Now is a good time to take the necessary steps to becoming better qualified professionally. Be cautious about giving notice at your current job too early. The financial security it offers you will serve you as you invest in your continuing education. The drudgery you’ve been feeling about your job will be replaced by a sense of excitement and anticipation as you attend classes and refocus your attention on doing something that you really want to do.

Your career aspirations were inspired during your childhood by an adult mentor in your life whom you admired. Recall this person, and if you can get in contact, you are encouraged to ask for advice and insight. Mostly, it will help you to remember the qualities and achievements that you admired about this person. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What inspired me about this person?
  • Why did I admire him or her?
  • What do I have in common with this person?

Can I now see myself being in the same role, and accomplishing similar things as this individual? Why? What do I have to do to achieve this?

Your new partnership will emerge as you take the next steps, as you will be finding yourself in the company of new people in environments where you would not otherwise go, were it not for your newfound focus on self-improvement and personal fulfillment.

Consider a new, trendy wardrobe that will help you “feel” more a part of your new circle of social connections and professional colleagues. Let your wardrobe be an external expression of your new career focus and success. Clothing can be a powerful manner of self-expression and reveals the way one wishes to “show up” in the world.

A lot of hard work awaits you, especially over the course of the next year. You will succeed. Whenever you feel discouraged, you should turn to a loving family member who supports you emotionally and can offer useful advice and encouragement.

There may come a point where you feel that you have fully “moved on” from your previous partner, but this person will not. You may be pressured to re-enter into the relationship. Be well advised that this would be an unnecessary distraction for you, and it would require you to shift your focus to such a degree, that you may be taken off course from your truly desired goals and aspirations.

You will have to be strong and overcome the obstacle of denying yourself what you want in order to provide for someone else. As a new identity emerges for you, the people you’ve been close to (including your former partner) will expect you to keep showing up the way you had before. It will take inner strength and determination to forge ahead with your new plans and goals. Write them down. Hang them up on a wall where you can see them every day. Do not let yourself be distracted or pressured into giving up on yourself.

It will serve you well to establish a new network of friends as you begin to make some changes in your life. Choose people your age and gender who are focused on similar goals. Spend free time with them and get to know them. Your new social circle will become increasingly important to you as you come closer and closer to achieving your lifelong dream.

Remember: let the focus shift from your past to your present, where all the potential for happiness and success can be found, waiting for you to realize.

-End of Life Reading-

I wish you blessings of happiness, success and fulfillment. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Selfless service as a path to personal success and happiness

working-together-as-a-team-group_people1In this Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

  • I’d love to meet my soulmate/life partner. What do I need to do to make this happen?
  • I’d like to be successful in obtaining a job. What is it that I’m doing or not doing to make this happen?
  • I need to know at this point in my life where I am now in 2014 regarding my spirituality.

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: It appears that you have neglected to properly attend to your home altar, an important observance that deserves daily care and attention. Take time to clean and refresh your altar space, filling it with auspicious, inspiring images and objects that uplift you and refocus your spiritual life. One important element to include is a spiritual text that contains scripture. You should read a passage daily and meditate on its meaning. This could be a text that you already own or could obtain locally. Be sure to choose a text that you will be motivated to read and reflect upon daily.

Is there someone in your immediate family who needs your help? An auspicious opportunity exists for you to offer help to this family member without expecting anything in return. Offering yourself with an attitude of loving compassion and non-attachment from the results (karma yoga) will provide you with some needed reconciliation from past offenses. Do not be concerned about how this family member may judge or criticize you; only offer your loving support with unconditional love, and be open to any positive outcomes that may arise from your selfless service.

You will benefit from improving your diet by reducing sweets and increasing your daily intake of pure water. Consider a more robust, disciplined exercise routine. This will help to cleanse toxins from your system and clear your mind so that you can focus and concentrate better.

Distractions seem to be one of the obstacles to maintaining a pure, clean state of mind. These distracting thoughts and cravings arise from a nexus of unhealthy habits that disturb peace of mind and mental balance. By improving your diet and maintaining an exercise routine, you will notice marked improvements in your ability to concentrate and enjoy a peaceful state of being.

This will further be supported by following the advice and guidance of your spiritual mentors, who have useful and practical wisdom to offer you in terms of specific spiritual practices that align you with your higher self.

Consider seeking the services of a local body worker to whom you feel an affinity. This could be a Shiatsu, Ayurvedic, Acupuncture, or Massage Therapy practitioner. Receiving therapy at least once a month will help you to access a state of mental, physical, and emotional wellness that you will benefit from for many years to come.

You are encouraged to enlist the help of a skilled practitioner of your choice who can answer your specific questions as they arise during the course of your treatment.

The opportunity for a trip to a faraway place will present itself to you through your affiliation with your local spiritual community. You are encouraged to take advantage of the chance to travel with a group of other people who will be aligned around similar values, and who will be prepared to pool their financial and social resources and connections to make this trip more affordable and accessible for everyone.

This trip offers a never-before, once-in-a-lifetime chance to experience aspects of a culture to which you are very attracted and connected, yet have been feeling estranged from. This sense of social disconnectedness and isolation can be transformed through your participation in this journey, which will connect you to people in a way that you otherwise wouldn´t in the course of your daily interactions.

It will be of great benefit to you to muster up the courage to participate more actively in the social events organized by your immediate community. When you are presented with a choice to either stay home or go out and be an active part of a community event, you are encouraged to show up and participate in any way you can.

You have valuable contributions to make that you may have been holding back from expressing due to some kind of self-doubt. As you participate more and more, you will overcome the obstacle of self-limitations and realize the joy of selfless, non-attached service to your community, which has a lot to offer you in return, should you be willing to show up – as you are – with no expectations.

You will be pleasantly surprised by the positive, fulfilling outcomes of your selfless service.

-End of Life Reading-

I wish you blessings of peace, health and happiness. Thank you for writing. —Parama

For business success, be a shining example of your mission and vision

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In this Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

I was in an abusive marriage and left my marital home. A few years later I got divorced. My eldest son, who is now an adult, still holds this against me. His anger at me is now causing problems in his own marriage. He and his wife are currently separated.

Is there any chance of them getting back together? I started a travel company a few years ago organizing tours to India, but it is not going well. I feel blocked at every attempt I make to progress. There is always something that comes up to block my success.

Could you give me some guidance, please? I am not employed and have no other source of income, so my life has been very stressful. I do have a very good man in my life; however, I don’t like being a burden to him, and right now, we survive on his income only. It has been difficult!

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:

  • a large desk
  • sunlight streaming into your room
  • computer equipment
  • a red wall hanging
  • a vacation with your son
  • reorganizing your office space and getting rid of clutter
  • candlelight and fire, especially within a ceremonial context

The block you have been experiencing in your business venture is related to unresolved shame and guilt that is leftover from your previous abusive relationship. You would benefit from taking more time to meditate – Is there a tiger skin rug or some kind of special rug you can spread on the floor for your meditation time?

By meditating more regularly, you will be able to connect with what this “shame” and “guilt” means to you. Be honest with yourself: reflect on how guilt and shame are still operating in your life today, especially in the context of your business. Have you been denying yourself something out of a sense of guilt? Do you feel that you are undeserving? In your meditation, pray and ask for help to clear the energy of guilt and shame from your life.

Give yourself time to feel into where these emotions may be coming from, and recognize the origin. Realize that you do not have to hold onto these negative energies, and you don’t have to be limited by them. Identify the mission and vision of your business. Then, ask yourself, “Am I a living example of the mission and vision of my business?” In other words, are you living your life in a way that would inspire your would-be customers to seek out your services? If not, then enlist the help of a trusted friend to identify ways that you can start to exemplify your company’s mission and vision. This is important for the success of your business.

It seems that you have been feeling a lack of inspiration in your life in general, and dwelling too much on the past, on what could-have-been, or should-have-been. This is blocking your creativity. Use your meditation to work on releasing this blockage, pray and ask for assistance, and affirm that you are free from guilt and shame.

Affirm that you are a living, breathing example of inspiration for your customers! Is there some kind of creative art that you have been reluctant to do, for some reason? Let this creative expression find its way into your business. Feel the inspiration of your own creativity as it enhances and ignites sparks of life and light into your business activity.

You would benefit from a larger workspace – a desk – for spreading out brochures and organizing papers that seem to have become disorganized. You might consider reorganizing your office space and clearing away unnecessary clutter. Toss old papers that you have no use for anymore. It is important for you to keep your private/personal life separate from your work life as much as possible. This means that you should organize and store work-related papers, files, and materials in a separate room from your personal things. This will help you stay focused, keep your mental thoughts clear, and maintain organization.

Keeping your work life separate from your personal life will also help your current relationship: When you are with your partner at home, try not to discuss your business activities. Stay focused on the everyday, ordinary, enjoyable aspects of life at home with your loving partner. Appreciate the “little things” about the life that you share.

Consider entering into a business partnership with a trusted friend who can help you boost your web marketing. A business partner will take pressure off your romantic partner, because you will have someone else to talk to and strategize about your business.

Take your business to the next level with an upgrade in computer equipment. You and your friend will be able to do this together, but alone, you seem to be lacking certain needed skills in the area of online marketing and promotion of your services.

Eat more fresh fruits. You will benefit from letting more sunlight into your home and exposing your skin to sunlight more often. This will energize you and spark your creativity.

Have you been yearning to take a trip somewhere? Invite your son to accompany you on this special trip. Take the time off from work and other obligations to go on this trip, and be sure to spend quality time alone with your son. It seems that he is dealing with unresolved anger towards you because he has not been able to express it to you or anyone else constructively. Be prepared to engage your son in somewhat emotionally trying dialogues about your past and how your decisions affected him when he was young.

Give him all the time he needs to be honest with you, even if his words are painful for you to hear. Be open and honest with him about your own process – Have you had the opportunity to talk with your son about how the abuse affected you when you were married to your previous partner? Take time to explain to your son how you took his safety and wellness into consideration when you decided to divorce your ex-husband.

Be patient with your son; it may take some time for him to forgive you. Do not pressure him with your own expectations or desires for his life. You must be honest with him about how you feel, but he must make his own decisions.

There is a bold, red-colored wall hanging or decoration that you could gift to your son. Ask him to place it somewhere in his home – on the wall or on a table – where he will see it daily. The color red will help him externalize and express his anger appropriately and constructively.

Consider the benefits of candlelight and fire in your life, especially within a ceremonial context. Look to your community for how and where to do this.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Looking for someone to love? Be the love you seek.

feet together

In this request for a Life Reading, a client asked the following questions: 

  • Will a love relationship form in my life in the near future? I’ve been struggling with dating guys and falling for the wrong one fast.
  • Why do I get so emotionally connected quickly? I’m young, and I like to have fun, but my love life is in a famine.
  • Will I be partnered up soon or stay single for a while longer?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: Being with a partner is the opportunity to get to know yourself. It is irrelevant whether you are “partnered up” or not – for we are always, ultimately, simply seeing and knowing ourselves through the reflection of the other people in our lives. That is why the nature of relationships is so transitory – and why we suffer so much in the thrall of trying to maintain, mend, or establish relationships. Because we are busy doing so with an attachment to the result: We are attached to getting something, going somewhere, becoming something more – by means of the relationship.

Sometimes we deceive ourselves, believing that the love we feel in our relationship is “all about the other person” — because the other person is this way, or that way — we can love them. This is an illusion. Love is not about the other person. Being “in love” means that we are in love with the reflection of ourselves within the other person. Try entering into a new relationship without any attachments.

Try simply being present with the other person, recognizing that the other person is always and in every way reflecting back some aspect of yourself. If it is “love” you are seeking, then be “love” for yourself. Be totally in love with yourself! This is the secret to a happy, fulfilling relationship – to be fully satisfied and full within oneself first. It is a certain set-up for future suffering and disappointment to go “looking for love” with and through another person.

All the love we seek lies inside of us, eternally, in each and every moment! There is no seeking, only seeing this to be always the case. Sometimes we discover aspects of ourselves that we don’t find lovable. We’re not proud of these parts of ourselves; we hide from them, and we hide them from other people.

This is where honesty and courage find a home in our hearts – when we discover that we truly want to love all of ourselves, and we find ourselves ready to face those shadow parts, those dragons, those skeletons in the closet. Sometimes those are the things we “fall for” in other people, because what we truly want is to encounter and embrace those parts of ourselves! Thus, we discover the magic, the beauty, and the timeless, irresistible quality of falling in love with another person.

We realize that we love another so that we can learn to love ourselves, to see ourselves, to let ourselves be seen, be held, be loved. There is always something valuable to learn from being “emotionally connected”…. This is our natural, wonderful birthright! Simply recognize your connectedness to be a sacred, holy vessel through which you can connect more deeply and more truly with yourself.

Whether you are falling in or out of love, there are always gifts to be opened, treasured, and stored in our memories. There truly is no loss in love, only the opportunity to love again, more deeply, more fully, with less and less attachment to any desired outcomes. There is no love life to be had “out there”…. There is simply always love – perfect and whole – within yourself, to be reflected and expressed through your relationship with another person.

Let go of your anxiety and attempts to “find” this person, and instead, be the love that you seek, let this love be expressed authentically; and the other person will most certainly show up in your life, simply by virtue of the supernatural force of your own heart bursting forth with love.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Forgiveness and generosity lead to financial freedom

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Starting again after years of financial strain, healing can be possible through forgiveness and generosity. E— writes, I wish to know when our financial strain will end.  We have been struggling for 15 years.  My husband was unable to work due to a curse placed on him by a former co-worker.  We believe he’s healed and we are starting again.

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading: You should immediately begin planning for early retirement and relocation to a foreign country where the cost of living is much lower. Your overhead is currently too costly and this will continue to put unnecessary strain on your finances. There is an easier, less stressful option for you and your partner at this time.

Look into foreign investments and limit the support you give to family. Take care of yourselves now so that you can enjoy your retirement together without the stress that you’ve been under for these past years. 

What you think was a “curse” is actually a “karmic rebalancing” from a past life where your husband grievously harmed this individual in such a way that he was left destitute and homeless. In this life, your husband has had to “repay that debt” by experiencing his own financial hardship as a result of the influence of this individual. It is important for your husband to actively seek the forgiveness of this person, to make amends, and to forgive him for any wrongdoing.

To harbor resentment or to hold a grudge will only perpetuate your husband’s suffering in the future. It is better to put an immediate end to this negativity through an act of forgiveness. Start by writing an email, then try to met in person with the intention to make amends and move on with your lives. Everyone will feel much better after this is done.

Your husband might consider donating a portion of his current earnings to a chosen charity with the intention to clear the karmic debt that caused his past financial problems. (Note: I am NOT suggesting that you make any donation to me, as this would clearly be a conflict of interest!)…. When you are ready to make your donation, say a prayer (out loud) or write down a prayer on paper that this offering will serve as redemption for any past wrongdoings. Continue to make these donations regularly (monthly or bi-monthly), in combination with your prayer, until you see noticeable improvements in your financial situation (and you will soon, through your generosity).

Be sure not to let yourself get lonely. Now that your husband is busy with work, you find yourself alone a lot and wishing you had more company. Seek the company of friends and family. Join an activity group or social club in your area. Keep yourself occupied and out of negative habits that could affect your ability to make healthy, wise decisions. Now that you have more financial resources available, you must be careful to use them wisely, not spend extravagantly, and invest properly.

Avoid hasty, impulse spending. Instead, take time to research whatever you are thinking about buying before you buy it. Remember that you have a lot of choices and you don’t have to settle for the first thing that comes your way. You don’t have to be in a rush to spend your money.

A family member (close relative) will be asking you and your husband for money. Avoid giving too much. Explain to this person that you and your husband are now planning for retirement and must focus primarily on this. Encourage this person to be more financially independent. By being a good example of wise financial planning, you will help this family member more than if you just handed over your money.

Tend to your health and future happiness. The stress of these past years has taken undue toll on you. Take exercise classes and learn to meditate. Listen to relaxing music while you soak in a bathtub of hot water. The key is to relax as much as you can in the best way you know how. This will become more important in the coming years, since you will need to support your husband in learning how to relax and unwind too. Be an example for him. It won’t help to have two stressed-out people approaching retirement. You will have to lead the charge on a restful, happy retirement together.

Do not delay in looking into investments in a foreign country of your choice. Talk it over with your husband and take a trip at your next available opportunity. You won’t regret it.

Now is the time to do it: You must invest in your future health, well-being, and happiness together. Forgiveness is paramount now. Forgiveness will unlock the door that has blocked your financial freedom.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best and may God bless you on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama

Personal health and wellness

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Seeking guidance about finding my life partner, how to do my spiritual practice, forgiveness, love, and finding a job: V— writes,

  • Why so far have I not been lucky in finding a life partner?
  • Spiritually I am growing all the time but I cannot find it in myself to meditate. Is there a block?
  • All I want to do is meet my life partner in this life and dedicate my life to helping people in whatever form. That’s when I’m at my happiest. I am tired of the corporate life. Am I being wrong in wanting this?
  • I keep getting signs of me needing to open my Heart Chakra, giving and receiving love, forgive…etc. I have been doing as much as I can. What is the best way to do this? Thank you for this opportunity for help. It’s much appreciated.
  • Right now I am jobless. I need a job because I don’t have money right now. Why is it not happening for me? I have 20 years work experience and skills. I have re-located to another city to take care of my Mom who is recovering from surgery. I am finding it difficult to get a job. What do I need to do to change this?

Parama received the following information for this Life Reading:

In a previous life, your partner brutally murdered you by piercing you in the chest with a knife out of revenge and anger. You can release the karmic effects of this trauma by praying and asking God to cleanse and heal these wounds to your subtle emotional body.

This residual trauma has prevented you in this life from being able to receive love when offered to you by a potential partner, for in the past, this brought you to your death. The best way to cleanse away this negative energy is to participate in a ceremony involving fire, whether in the form of a bonfire (with a pile of old shoes?), a sweat lodge, or a small outdoor fire.

A healthy partnership can only come when one can authentically maintain wellness for oneself, independent of the other partner.

Do you honestly feel that you are keeping yourself well, physically and mentally, in your daily life? Is there a substance or a habit that has become addictive and harmful to your health? Are you prepared to address this and make necessary changes so that you can be healthy? Addictions act as a constant distraction from our equanimity and inner peace.

You want to “help others” …. Be sure to help yourself first and feel honestly that you are on the path to getting healthy and free of harmful addiction.

Details about your work situation and finding a job are not relevant to this reading at this time, as your personal health and wellness are of critical importance. Once you address this, then your external circumstances (including your job) will naturally unfold from there.

-End of reading-

I wish you the best and may God bless you on your life’s journey. Thank you for writing. —Parama